Honest Burger – Veggie DIY Xmas Burger

Thanks to tier 4 restrictions, we ended up not hosting a small Christmas dinner we had planned so had a lot of food to eat ourselves, but I am glad to report that none of it went to waste, although a lot of it went to my waist!  So as the calendar ticks to 2021 it’s time for that annual attempt to atone for December’s eating sins.  This year I thought I would give some veggie/vegan burgers an honest try and where better to start than Honest Burger.  Read on to find out how they were.

The Bun: 16/20

We opted for the regular bun instead of gluten free.  No need to go full vegan on the first attempt right!?  Honest Burger has a really good bun, a simple and elegant brioche. It is a lovely golden and gives off just a little oil when toasted.  Although as you may recall from previous HB reviews, I think they could be improved with a little butter.  We had a couple of slightly squished buns in the order, but nothing major. 

The Toppings: 4/10

Comes with the regular HB pickles and a whole red onion.  We grew up on American dills and have a Polish friend who brings some of hers over regularly, so these just don’t cut it for us.  They are overly spiced but not enough vinegar/dill flavour to fill the pickle role and not sweet enough to be relish.  Red onion good, but nothing flashy.   Add your own lettuce.  End product needed a little more oomph.  

The Condiments: 9/10

I wasn’t sure what to expect with vegetarian Rubies in the rubble chipotle “mayo” …the quotes are how HB use them.  But this was really good.  I would never have guessed it wasn’t regular mayo used as a base for a slightly spice burger sauce.  Just the right amount of heat, a delicate tingle but not an overwhelming flavour.  I wish everything vegetarian (or was this actually vegan?) tasted this good.  And of course, the trademark HB DIY inclusion, a whole bottle of French’s mustard, which is the favourite in our house.

The Cheese: 3/20

The kit comes with smoked gouda “cheese”…and again the quotes are how HB uses them.  Unlike the “mayo”, there was no way you could be fooled by this as being real cheese.  Smoky flavour was strong and it smelled like gouda, but the texture was dry and brittle and the cheese sort of decomposed instead of melting when heat was applied.  Drops of oil cooked out of the slice and they never became that lovely gooey texture we all want.  No real impact in final burger flavour at all.  The kit let you choose regular buns, but I wish it had let me choose regular cheese. 

The Patty (Plant): 10/20

I have had Beyond Meat and Impossible burgers before, but this was my first time cooking myself.  So perhaps the sickly greyish-pink colour and gluey/slimy texture are normal.  I will say it actually smelled like meat, we actually had the impression of a “fake meat” flavour.  The recommendation is to cook on high heat but we found these were burning very quickly, so turned down to medium and found it worked a little better but they stuck to the grill pretty badly, a metal spatula was a must.  Lots of oil, lots of smoke and they shrank up a bit.  Flavour was mediocre, but I have to say it was better than some real burgers I’ve had before.  There was no way you’d be fooled into thinking this was real beef, especially as texture was a little crumbly, although not as bad as the “cardboard” feel that many veggie burgers have.

The Taste: 9/20

Good for the planet maybe, but not good for the taste buds.  Crappy cheese, bland “meat” just couldn’t be overcome by their usual great bun and the really good veggie mayo.   I have to confess that we cooked this alongside a real Honest Burger Tribute burger (which I think is one of the best 2-3 burgers out there) so perhaps that was unfair as the smell and look of that on the next plate perhaps skewed expectations.  But we have a couple of meatatarians in this house so they needed their feeding too.  To be honest, there are not many veggie propositions that could take me away from the Tribute Burger at Honest Burgers we reviewed.

Our Verdict: 51/100 

Please don’t judge Honest Burger by this score or this review.  Their burgers are really excellent; I just think that veggie burgers are not my thing.  But if my doctor said I had to become a vegetarian, then I think I could learn to make these work.  I would just use real cheese and play around with cooking and toppings to get it right.  Maybe some veggie bacon?  But the final verdict has to be that while cheeseburgers are not a healthy food in their own right, they have their place as a reward for eating healthy the rest of the week.  I’m happy with salads, veggie pizzas or omelettes a few nights a week to make room for a burger on the weekend.  We all have to do our bit for global warming, so it was worth a try.